Wednesday, January 30, 2013

RHOA: What exactly IS a Donkey Booty ?

Phaedra Parks, I can't even handle you.
Business woman/lawyer turned exercise DVD guru.
And oh! The title of your DVD, how enticing!
Donkey Booty
So, what exactly IS a donkey booty, you ask ?
According to Urban Dictionary, a donkey booty is when a girl's
derriere resembles that of a donkey.
That girl that sits in the back of my class has a major donkey booty. 

Now the real question, how does one OBTAIN a donkey booty?

1. You could make like Beyonce, who works out five times a week
and does 100 squats, 100 walking-lunges and 100 step-ups a day.
2. Build your glutes up by lifting heavy weights 2-3 times a week.
Barbell or weighted lunges will also get you a nice big, round tush.
3. Part of what makes a booty a donkey booty is how you present it 
and let's be honest, a pair of jeans can either make or break 
your donkey booty. Any type of bling, sparkle or bedazzling 
will really make your bootayyy pop.
As if this post wasn't educational enough for you, 
if you're not in the market for a donkey booty,
perhaps a stallion booty is more your style?
In which case you could lean Kenya's way,
who has really come out of the wood works as of lately.
I vote not to purchase anything with Miss America
I mean Miss USA's name on it because she is 
10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag but hey!
It's your booty and your credit card so you make the decision!

Eitherrr waaayyyyy, happy tush toning!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Trucks, Luke Bryan and Mud

..oh my!
Sorry I had to.
I don't think this comes as a huge surprise but,
brace yourselves,
I'm just not a huge city person.
I mean I was raised in the horse capital of the World for God's sakes.
Needless to say, after high school I WAS in need of a change of scenery,
hence the move to the four-oh-seven, otherwise known as the wonderful city of Orlando.
Casey Anthony. Trayvon Martin.
Yeah, my mom calls me three times a day just to ensure I wasn't
a) shot at a gas station b) mugged in a Target parking lot or
c) in another fender bender on I-4. 
This place is a hot mess and a half. 
That is why this past weekend came as kind of a shocker.
Friday we went to a truck pull.
A truck pull, for you non-southerners, is when two trucks
back their tailgates up to one another (sounds kinda dirty!)
and then attach a pull rope and see which truck pulls the most
for a total of 3 rounds.
Actually typing that out and then reading it makes it sound....
really stupid actually! Ha!
Saturday we saw the sex kitten himself
in concert.
Pretty sure Whitney and Kate already staked a claim
on him but can I be third in line ? Mmmk thanks. :)

Thompson Square and FGL weren't half bad either!
But Luke Bryan was aaaa-mazing.
This man was wonderful.
So wonderful that I wasn't even paying attention to
the massive girl fight that went on behind me.

Highlights include but are not limited to:
Muckalee Creek Water intro:
Luke pulling moonshine out of his piano
(well, that's a new trick)
and his cover song Dirt Road Diary:
Best concert ever :)
Well, right up there with Kenny/Tim and Eric Church at least.

Then by Sunday, my body was in Bud Light shock
so when we went to the mud race (Oh, you thought
this post couldn't possibly get any more redneck? It just did.)
I made an executive decision to switch to mimosas.
After about 10 of those, I still wasn't grasping the concept
of the race and Bryan was getting irritated
with all of the questions sssoooooo
 so we decided to walk around and snap pics of the gigantic trucks.
*Note: If your boyfriend is in the market for a new truck,
it is probably best not to partake in events that involve monster trucks
on 44" tires.  "LOOK BABE THIS ONE IS FOR SALE!"
No. You're not parking that in the driveway.
So that was my little weekend update!
But honestly ? Where WAS I this past weekend ?
No wayyyyy this was the same city that I was just
cursing on my ride home from work sitting in bumper to bumper traffic.
Or that I have to practically ask for a store associate who speaks English.
Maybe I'll stay a few more years?!
No. This weekend wasn't that good.
We're still definitely planning an exit strategy :)

Don't forget to link up with Sami and Leeann!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Accessory Obsessed

I like to think that my obsession with accessories began at a young age. 
I don't think I was capable of taking a nap without clutching my first little hand bag.

These days are no different... 
and I seriously can't get enough of these Groop Dealz!
If you're not already signed up- Go. Now!
It's wonderful :)
It's like Groupon meets Etsy!

Please check these out, and obsess with me, if you will:
Representttttt :)

I don't even know why I'm sitting here right now torturing
myself with all these fabulosities (word??). 
I have so much jewelry it's ridiculous.
Matter of fact!
Ze Boyfriennddd had to purchase me one of these bad boys
for storage purposes:

No joke. There is so much room in this dang thing.
After moving all of my fave pieces into their new home,
there was actually still space for more.
What? Does he think I can't buy anymore ?
Challenge Accepted :)

Alright ladies!
I'm off to get my hibachi on.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Face the Facts

Linkin up with yoga-pants wearin Whitnaayy today for this exciting post!
Basically the way she described the way this little linkup was suppose to go down was:
 assume you are a theme park and your park employees are to
share a slew of "fun facts" about you- what would they be? 

Sounds fun, sold!

Anyway, without further adieu, I bring you the facts of mooii-
1. My Mom is my best friend.
I'm not sure when exactly this happened- somewhere in between
being a saucy little 16 year old and Patron shots in Vegas for my birthday one year.
Seriously, my mom, my best friend and I got asked to leave
the family side of the pool "if we were going to continue pounding drinks."
Quite positive it happened when I left for college.
I would go back home and start throwing back glasses of wine with her
and one night I was like- dang Mom, you're kind of a good time!

2. I have been dating my boyfriend for SEVEN YEARS.
No, we are not engaged.
And I am okay with that :)
Don't get me wrong, I am by no means a "life partner" typa girl.
And I can assure you that I have a wedding board on Pinterest
that is just bursting at the seams like every other girl with ideas that 
I am hoarding for later.
Maybe he has a few tricks up his sleeve for 2013? Who knows! ;)
Either way, love this man and wouldn't trade 'em for anything!

3. We own a craft beer and wine bar in Orlando FL.
Probably sounds a LOT more exciting than it really is.
It is hard work. I also have a sales job which consumes my week days
from around 6AM until 6 at night. Then it's off to the bar for 
scheduling, orders, inventory etc ettcccc. 
Little did I realize when we first opened up that I couldn't 
exactly drink IPA's and Sea Dog Blue Paws the way I 
used to drink Bud Lights. 
Hence the excessive gym sessions as of lately.
Anyway! Still have a long way to go from a business
owner stand-point but Lorrrddd are we learning something new everyday
and we DID just celebrate our one year anniversary 
of being open- one down mannyyy more to go!

4. I am loud. Too loud. 
I have no idea why this picture turned out blue by the way ? 
Pretty sure I can blame my Italian roots for this 
astounding quality. I remember getting U's on conduct
reports in elementary school because I literally never shut my mouth.
It's not something I'm proud of but they're suppose to be facts, no?
I thought we were in the nest, are we not?
Which brings me to my next fun little fact..

5. I quote Mean Girls, Old School, Wedding Crashers and
Anchor Man waayy way way too much. 
6. I am a pink-loving, glitter-covered Tom Boy.
Does that make sense? Not so much?
I'll elaborate.
Basically I love this:
but still love this:
I shoot these:
but I also enjoy this:

6. I live for throwing parties, showers, any type of get-togethers!
I would turn a yard sale into a themed blow out block party bash if I could.
I would honestly consider a career in party planning but Pinterest has
made it kind of pointless to hire anyone. 

So there you have 'em!
Some fun facts of yours truly :)

I could probably drag on... and on and on and on..
but I wont do that to you.

Now go link up HERE
 and "tour the theme parks" of these other lovely ladies!

Monday, January 21, 2013

A 21 Year Old I am Not

Mornin frans!
Is anyone else draggginngggg butt this morning?
Just me?! 
Oh ok! Moving right along.. 
I really need to quit partaking in Sunday Funday football BBQ's.
I mean really.

Linking up with the lovely Sami again for a quick little recap on my weekend happenings:

1. Kicked off girl's wine night with SURPRISE! some gorgggeous
tulips from one of my bests :)
2. Gel Nails. I am obsessed. 
3. Mama! Still regretting my decision to see this movie.
It was obviously a late night (see stub time) drunken decision
that we thought would be a good time after 3 bottles of vino.
It was not.
4. Saturday was National Gun Appreciation Day!
And because we so firmly believe in the right to bear arms-
not to be confused with the right to arm bears
we chose to celebrate by taking the new rifle out shootin.
Trying to find a place to shoot in this stupid city?
Mission: Almost-Impossible. 
5. Honey Boo Boo shots. That's correct.
We went out Saturday night and when it was announced that
for the next 10 minutes they would be running a special for
"2-for-1 Honey Boo Boo shots" Bryan basically threw people
out of the way to get to a bartender. 
Needless to say her special juice did not help me win that night. 
6. Boyfriend & his besty! Love these boys! 
Annddddd I clearly didn't get the plaid memo?

What did we learn this weekend, ladies ?
Well. I am no longer that 21 year old 
little ball of glitter that I used to be.
How did I go out 5 nights a week, attend class and work ??
I have decided that major drinking nights 
must fall into one of the following categories: **
(mine, Bryan's, best friends, Bryan's best friend's, parents', 
niece's, nephew's, Britney Spears's, pet's, annyybody else..?)
Bachelorette Parties
Alchohol-related holidays
(St. Patrick's Day/Cinco de Mayo/4th of July-
Yes. I consider 4th of July a drinking holiday. I guess
it has something to do with the fact that I associate drinking with explosives?)
Football Games
Luke Bryan Concerts

**The chances of this list growing in the next 4-5 days is likely.

So that's it.
If it doesn't fall into one of those categories,
I'm sticking to 2 beers and I'm calling it a night by 10.

Have a fab Monday and go link up with 
the other lushes of the weekend update blog hop!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Somethin' bout a truuuck

Ohh, Kip Moore, your voice.
But this post is not about Kip Moore. No. 
It's not even about Justin Moore, who I am EQUALLY obsessed with.
Fun Fact: Did you know that they have NO relation to one another ? 
I blame Bryan for fabricating that lie. 

Anywhooo (yes I'm blogging on a Friday night and 
using the word "anywho," can we say dorrrkkkk?) 
among all of the toys that we purchased in 2012
2012 was an abnormally successful year mmmmkk?
a new truck for Bryan was not one of them.
So yesterday, he decides, was the day to look.
So off to the dealership we go.
If I sound less than enthused, it's because I was.
Car shopping is. the. worst. 

There was the obbbbvious lush when we first walked in:

The special edition Black Ops F-150
Um hhaaaayyyyy

There were quite a few sessy Chevys but Bryan
didn't like how small the cab-size was compared to the Fords. 
Surely he was referring to being a taxi for friends back and 
forth from tailgates to concerts to bars having children.

Then we spotted a beautiful, power stroke 
(yeah I don't know what that means either)
white, Ford F-250. 
He was immediately obsessed.

He jumped right in and man, did he look good!

Girlfriend approves!

We test drove the beast and sat down to talk numbers.
And no truck shopping experience is complete without a
pink, bedazzled calculator to negotiate with.
Boom :)
So now! We wait. 
He's still contemplating and we should know early next week if it's a YES!

Meanwhile.. I promise I have plans tonight.
They involve multiple bottles of wine and a movie that
I will likely not sleep after watching.